Remember: A reflection

On relationship

Spoken rendition of “Remember”.

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Often, creating is a solo act, made of time spent silently at a table with a pen and paper, hoping not to be disturbed. When inspiration arrives from somewhere outside of you, it can be quite thrilling. This is what occurred with Remember.

Photo by Alex Simpson on Unsplash

Writing

Jason McBride, who writes the Weirdo Poetry SubStack, recently released an essay called “Let’s make some lists”.  (Jason writes Haiku that is accompanied by very creative art, and thoughtful essays…check out his work!) In this post he challenged his audience to make a list and turn it into a poem. That small prompt was what allowed this poem to be penned.

The haiku Jason posted with this essay was an example of a true list and a truly beautiful poem.

curl, crash, and recede
ocean waves curl, crash, recede
curl, crash, and recede

I rarely have followed other writer’s prompts but felt compelled to that evening. Waves speak to me, and I think his poem followed by his ask hit the spot of inspiration. What came out of that inspiration was an abstract list of memories, all bearing a repetition of “that one”. It was not a list in the same sense that Jason wrote, but that evening his words and prompt opened something in me for this poem to flow with relative ease.

Leading up to that evening I had been slogging through one poem for almost a month. It is a piece that has something big to say, but I was having a difficult time getting the words right and was nowhere near where I wanted to be with the feel and cadence. As a result, the narrative in my head during the prior week was quite judgmental about my ability to write and whether anything I had to say was worth anyone else’s time. Jason and his Weird Poetry community helped open the door to creativity for a moment, long enough for me to step through so I could write in an unencumbered fashion.

Jason’s last request was to post whatever we came up with in the comments of his post. So, that’s what I did, there on the spot. Interestingly, I went back to this poem to edit it multiple times in the coming days and weeks and ended up changing very little. The one visual that needed improving was the fishhook. In the initial poem, I had reversed the steps to release yourself from a hook. The poem initially stated like a fishhook // and at some point // you had to cut // the barb and push it out. Well, I got it backwards! You can’t get to the barb until it’s been pushed through. I found it humorous, and I like the feel and flow of that stanza better after the edit.

…and the one
that lodged in your mind
like a fishhook
and at some point
you had to push it through
and cut the barb
to free yourself.

Theme

This poem is about relationship.

The first relationship explored is the relationship of the individuals who are having the conversation, perhaps partners or friends, or maybe the self-dialogue that one has in their relationship with themself. It is an intimate conversation, one trying to encourage the other who appears to be in a difficult situation or a self-limiting headspace. We can sense this is a relationship with a foundation of trust built on many witnessed events. We experience a looking back at those events, most that appear to be situations that were difficult or painful. Throughout, we see the way witnessing another’s experience breathes a different type of life into the experience whether in the moment or a recounting of it at a later time.

The next relationship explored is the relationship with one’s personal past. Perhaps the memories are of romantic relationships, work challenges, hurt by a family member, or working towards an ambitious goal. Any experience can fit into this poem, which is one of the reasons I find it beautiful, and I do not want to over-describe what I was feeling or thinking in each stanza. I want this poem’s openness to live on. So, instead, I will direct you back to the poem with the purpose of placing your own experience and questions into this poem. What have you put behind you that needs to be brought forward? What did you go after that did not work out, and what did you pursue that turned out well? What decision did you make after waking anxious in the night, and for what did you have to work through pain to become free? Who has been in your life that has given to you in a way that allowed you to grieve when you needed? What brought you to a more whole life from a place of fear or pain?

Finally, I see the final three stanzas providing freedom to continue looking back, or to shift to looking forward. In the conversation, the pair looks back at the time where they “wrote / the whole story / and filed it away for never”. There is a response between the lines from the one whose story this was which we can feel in the speaker’s final statement (write it down / what you / just told me. // Write that one down.). I am left with a sense that the response was one of clarity that emerged for this individual. The partner saw something in their words that is true and needs to be lived into. That needs to be written down.

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Back to Jason for a minute. His haiku from his post can be a meditation. Sit quietly and repeat it as a mantra for a few minutes. If you get distracted, just come back to it. It is quite moving.

curl, crash, and recede
ocean waves curl, crash, recede
curl, crash, and recede

Now, go and subscribe to Weirdo Poetry. You don’t like haiku?  You don’t like comics? Ok, but you like fun, and Jason’s publication is pure joy mixed with art and emotion.

Finally, I hope you don’t skip past the openness and questions this poem holds. Memories hold complexity and seem to live on even in the current moment through the stories we craft about our past. We each get to craft our own stories, and even recraft them when our old story no longer serves the moment. Get crafting!

May you open to the stories in you.

Brian

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If you missed the “A Poem” post of Remember, I hope you will read and enjoy! You can find it here.

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